Feeling Free Again: Entrepreneur Life Reflections May 31 2019
If you read one of my recent posts, you know I took on a part time job last January. I think it is worthwhile to talk about what this allowed me to do, which is take the financial pressure off my creativity and give me physical and mental space. Both of these have been essential to my progress as an entrepreneur and moved me toward greater success as I returned full-time to my business.
Sometimes when we start a business on the side, there is this haste to leave our full-time employment. We cannot wait to drop whatever form of hell that tortures us eight hours a day and see what we really can do with this side hustle. At least that was the case for me. But something worth considering was how depending on my business to pay the bills would affect my mental scope, use of time, and motivation. I had been depending on Thought Blossoms for my primary source of income since 2014 and it did a fantastic job of supporting me for much of that time. Once paying my bills became a struggle, there was a massive shift. I became more focused on earning potential rather than the creative process, both the actual making as well as the business development. I slowly became very consumed by money and started using language about myself and my business that was very destructive (I am broke, struggling, I don’t have any money). I was feeling and communicating lack so that is what I experienced. Although I was utilizing many effective business practices my mind would not be convinced that they were working. So they didn’t.
The only thing that drew me out of this place of lack was getting a job and having a steady income. Once the financial pressure was off and I had created some space between self/business, the worry dissipated and I finally felt free. I gained a tremendous amount of clarity, beginning to understand where I would gain the most impact from my efforts, what unessential tasks I was spending too much time on, and how important allowing myself to create was. My mind was no longer wracked with worry about how I would pay X bill or how many sales I had that day. By the end of my time tutoring I was ready to return to Thought Blossoms with a new attitude, sense of purpose and refreshed energy.
I cannot say I did all this alone, there were a few books I read during this time that were essential to my growth. “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield was reintroduced to me in a podcast and could not have been timelier. This has been an incredible source of motivation and inspiration. It makes the path of an artist/entrepreneur so relatable and gives direct advise on how to combat the “resistance” experienced on this path.
“It’s not Your Money” by Tosha Silver. Wow. This one has a spiritual premise so be aware of that, but for me it has been a central piece to shifting my energy. She recommends putting some things in practice, but they are very easy and practical. Do the work, reap the rewards. I say the prayer of gratitude and abundance daily and honestly believe it is working miracles.
Being an entrepreneur can be a wild ride. I thought that I would leave my full-time teaching job and never look back. But sometimes, even when you hit the point where you can leave your job, your path takes you back to a place you never thought you would go and that is ok. It does not mean failure; it is simply a bend in the road. You don’t have to give up, or maybe you do… But maybe that means having to give up your old ways of thinking so that new ideas can flow that take your business to places you never imagined.